pandabuddha: Touya/Hilbert | Pokemon Black & White (Hilbert)
[personal profile] pandabuddha
Title: Vertically Challenged
Genre: Humor/Friendship
Rating: K+
Warnings: Slash
Notes: Goes along with a headcanon that Hilbert is the shortest one of the BW Unova crew.
Summary: It was Friday afternoon and Hilda was ready to put her plan into motion.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Pokemon. That honor goes to Nintendo!

Hilda sighed for what felt like the fifth time today. She knew her brother had his… quirks, if she could call them that, but this didn’t really seem like it needed to be an issue. But then again, Hilda stopped trying to understand her brother when started high school. Hilbert would be Hilbert and Hilda decided to accept that. Except it was hard when the issue was always brought up, indirectly yes, but still brought up.

Hilda blamed N, whenever the taller teen was around, and Cheren, their neighbor turned Hilbert’s boyfriend.

“Hilbert. It’s not that big of a deal.” Cheren said, staring at Hilbert. Hilbert just pouted in response and crossed his arms.

“It is a big deal Cheren!” Hilbert said, glaring at his boyfriend. Hilda looked over at Bianca, who seemed oblivious to little spat the two were having (again). This argument was starting to become waaaay too common if you asked Hilda.

It started a couple of months ago, when Hilda playfully pointed out that Hilbert somehow became the shortest one in their group of four-sometimes-five. Since then, Hilbert became oddly sensitive about the subject. He tried finding ways of getting taller that didn’t involve just drinking milk (their mom was starting to get annoyed with finding the new milk carton empty), like buying a pair of new sneakers that made him a little bit taller or (almost) bribing N into letting Hilbert ride on his shoulders and wearing a trench coat to hide N.

(How no one noticed the sudden disappearance of N and Hilbert’s ridiculous new height was a mystery to Hilda and Cheren, who figured it out right away.

“Just promise me you won’t do that again.” Cheren sighed, glaring at the two juniors.

“Then are you going to stop saying that I should let this issue go?”


“Then no, I can’t promise that I won’t do that again.”)

Despite some of Hilbert’s ridiculous attempts at seeming taller, Cheren didn’t bother trying to seem apologetic about dismissing Hilbert’s issue about height. In fact, the taller teen had decided to try talking sense into Hilbert about it, which Hilda thought was a pretty ridiculous idea too. Hilbert’s too stubborn to give up and Cheren’s too stubborn to give up, despite his impatience.

‘Boys.’ Hilda concluded and went back to her lunch, wondering how she could get this issue to be settled.

Hilda decided to ask Cilan, one of the three waiters at a nice little cafe near their school, what she should do. She would ask one of his brothers, but Cress was busy cleaning a table and Chili, as nice as he was, wouldn’t be very helpful. He’d probably suggest something violent, which Hilda didn’t want to do (yet) unless it was necessary.

“So what do you think?” Hilda asked, sipping her milkshake. “Is there some sort of way of resolving this or are we all just screwed?”

Cilan hummed, rubbing his chin with his eyes closed in concentration. He snapped his fingers and smiled at Hilda before saying, “Well, why don’t you try locking them in a… um… closet? Have them work it out and then they can come out.”

“Will that really work?” Hilda asked. She’s seen stuff like that on TV before, but she didn’t really know if it worked in real life.

“Oh yes! I usually stuff my brothers in one of the closets when they start arguing.” Cilan said, nodding at the memories. “They usually come out with the issue resolved.”


“Well… um… there was one argument that it just didn’t work with…” Cilan said, rubbing the back of his neck. “But that was just because Chili was saying that Cress’s hair isn’t original and that he copied off of a friend from college.”

Hilda nodded, not sure who Cilan was talking about, but then again she was in high school. College is a whole different world as far as she was concerned. She smiled at Cilan and thanked him before leaving the cafe, she needed to get back to school before break time was over.

“So what did Hilda want?” Chili asked, coming up from behind Cilan with an eager grin on his face.

“Not a date with you!” Cress yelled from his table before bolting to the kitchen with an angry Chili running after him.

Cilan sighed and got up from his spot. He stopped by the cash register to grab the closet key before going to the kitchen with it ready to be used.

It was Friday afternoon and Hilda was ready to put her plan into motion. The day before, she asked Cilan if it was okay to use the cafe for her plan, which the green haired college student agreed to.

“The key is by the cash register.” Cilan told her, showing her where the closet key was hidden. She nodded and thanked him before rushing back to school. She had planned a little get-together tonight with Bianca, Cheren, Hilbert, and N as part of her plan. They were going to eat dinner at the cafe together, with N (she would apologize to him later) bringing up the height issue, which Cheren and Hilbert were going to argue about. Then she would have Bianca drag them away from the table, close to the closet and Hilda would push them in and lock the door.

She hoped this plan would work, otherwise she might have to go to Cress or Chili (sadly, her last resort) about what to do.

When the final bell rang, she grabbed her stuff and said goodbye to Rosa, one of her classmates and a new student, and rushed to her locker. They were going to go to the cafe in an hour after dropping their stuff off at their houses and changing out of their school uniforms. No point in spending the night in her school uniform, especially if this plan didn’t work.

“You ready to go, Hilbert?” Hilda asked, closing her locker and turning to her brother. He finished putting away the last of his books before nodding and closing his own locker. As they left the school Hilda noticed Hilbert wave goodbye to a boy with messy brown hair and giggled, which caused Hilbert to glare at him.

“He really does like you, doesn’t he?” Hilda asked, grinning at her brother. Hilbert just pouted and muttered something about how ‘Nate doesn’t like him like that’ and how ‘he’s dating someone else so shut up Hilda.’ She just grinned again, causing the other brunet to start pouting.

When they arrived home, she decided to tell her mom her plan when Hilbert went up the stairs to his room to change. She was surprised to hear that her mom was all for it and would call Bianca and Cheren’s parents and let them know.

“But uh… mom… I thought you’d be against this.” Their mom just giggled and then smiled at her daughter.

“Oh honey, I’d never be against anything like this.” her mom answered, sipping her tea. “Besides, Hilbert needs to let this go. I happen to like my cute son short!” Hilda just laughed and walked towards the stairs and to her room, getting out of her uniform and into something more comfortable.

Once she was done, she walked down the stairs and was greeted by her brother standing in the kitchen, whining about how he wished their mom would stop mentioning his height. She just laughed and patted his head before shooing him away to go meet with Hilda. He did so, somewhat reluctantly, and grabbed his jacket. Hilda did the same and they both left the house, deciding to walk to the cafe. When they got closer to the cafe she waved at Cilan, who was cleaning one of the outside tables, and started giggling. She ignored Hilbert’s confused look and instead focused on the mission.

This plan would work, even if the two most stubborn love birds she had ever met (okay maybe not, Ethan and Silver were pretty high on her list too, but they weren’t dating… yet) fought her along the way.

The duo didn’t wait too long for the others to show up. Almost immediately after them, N entered the cafe with a polite greeting to Cilan and sat across from Hilbert. The taller teen smiled at his shorter friend, who returned the smile back. After N, Bianca and Cheren showed up together, Bianca happily greeting the group and Cheren sitting himself next to Hilbert. Once the group was together, Chili came over and handed them five menus, saying that he would be their waiter tonight. Once he left, Hilda looked over her menu and looked over at N and Bianca, who looked back at her and nodded.

‘Time to put my plan into motion!’

“So Hilbert,” N started, setting his menu down. The brunet boy hummed, indicating to N that he was listening. “why do you seem a bit taller tonight?”

“Maybe I grew a little last night!” Hilbert said, grinning at N and setting his menu down. Next to him, Cheren sighed and set his own menu down. He pulled at Hilbert’s sleeve, wanting to get the other teens attention. Hilbert looked away from N and turned to his boyfriend. “Something wrong?”

“Hilbert. You’re wearing that pair of sneakers just because they make you taller than Bianca.” Cheren deadpanned, staring at his boyfriend. “Again.”

“I-I am not!” Hilbert stuttered, glaring at Cheren.

“And I’m not blind without my glasses.” Cheren stated, crossing his arms.

“You’re not!”

“Yes I am.”

“Are not! I’ve seen you without your glasses and you can walk around just fine without bumping into stuff!”

“That’s because I was wearing my contacts.” Cheren said, sighing. “Honestly, you need to get over this-”

“Okay! Okay! How about we all calm down?” Bianca said, grabbing Cheren and Hilbert’s wrists. She dragged them away from the table, but the boys were too busy arguing to notice Bianca wink at Hilda. Hilda smiled and gave the blond girl a thumbs up. She also flashed a smile to N, but he was busy trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness of Cheren and Hilbert’s relationship.

Rushing over to the cash register, Hilda grabbed the closet key and snuck over to the two arguing boys. Bianca was ‘trying’ to calm the two teenage boys down, but moved away from the open closet door when Hilda was close enough. Once Bianca was out of the way, Hilda pushed the two boys in with all her might (which wasn’t too much, she was pretty strong) and closed the door behind them. Bianca grabbed the doorknob and kept the door closed while Hilda started locking the door. She could hear her brother’s angry shouting and Cheren’s angry demands for them to be released.

“No way! Not until you two get over this little issue!” Hilda yelled back, twirling the key on her index finger. “I’ll wait all night if I have to! I have Cilan’s permission!”

It was after ten minutes of shouting (Hilbert), loud angry muttering (Cheren), and loud protests (Chili and Cress, who didn’t know about the plan) when Hilda’s real plan finally went into motion. It took a while, but Cheren and Hilbert had calmed down, so the closet was seemingly quiet. She had Cilan sneak over every couple of minutes to confirm that they were talking, which they were according to him.

Although Cress and Chili were still upset about not knowing about the plan, which Hilda felt bad for. So she told them that N would give them a nice big tip (“What?!”), which cheered up the two instantly.

So the three remaining members of their group decided to order more drinks (and a nice lemon cake for Bianca, Hilda’s treat) and continue waiting. While they did, a couple of other college kids came and went (a guy with blue hair similar to Cress’s hair with a blond guy in a purple scarf stuck out to Hilda the most) and two people she recognized from their high school (it was pretty hard not to forget those red eyes), who waved at them (well the one with spiky hair did, the raven just stared at them blankly) and she waved back.

She hoped her brother and Cheren would hurry up though, because when she looked at her wallet she instantly wanted them to hurry up already.

It took them an hour and thirty minutes before they finally knocked on the door. Hilda got up and grabbed the key, unlocking the closet and opening it. When she did, she smiled at seeing the two of them holding hands and looking away, blushing a little.

“We uh… wanted to apologize.” Hilbert said, looking at his sister.

“Yes. Our behavior was stupid and we apologize if we annoyed you in any way.” Cheren stated, stepping out of the closet with Hilbert. Hilda nodded, accepting the apology. She turned back to Bianca, who was giving the couple a thumbs up while she had a fork in her mouth still, and N, who also nodded.

“Looks like we all agree: apology accepted!” Hilda said, hugging the couple. “Now, just promise us you’ll never do this again.”

“Promise!” they said together, Hilbert hugging Hilda back while Cheren opted for accepting the hug instead.

“Good!” Hilda grinned, pulling away from the hug and turning her attention to her brother. “Now I can tell mom that it’s okay to call you her ‘cute short son.’ I’d better text her the good news.”

“Oh no you don’t!” Hilbert yelled, trying to grab Hilda’s phone away from her. Next to him, Cheren said and let go of Hilbert’s hand, letting the brunet chase after his sister. Instead of standing around, he joined N and Bianca at their table and ordered a cup of coffee. Chili nodded and went back into the kitchen, trying to avoid running to Hilbert and Hilda, who were running around the cafe.
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